Application of Anger

I would like to share with you some insights from Bible reading today. I focused on these main verses: 

• Psalm 30:5; 
• Proverbs 15:1, 22:24&25; 
• Matthew 18:15-35; and 
• James 1:19. 

For clarification I have compared them each in NASB, NKJV, NIV, and YLT98. After a few readings it is abundantly clear that there are many concepts that can be applied to our interpersonal relationships. All our interpersonal relationships can be boiled down into emotional terms as they are all built on our individual biases and personalities as we encode and decode messages through our internal filters. Following the illustrations and techniques listed out in scripture will help us to refine our interpersonal interactions.

Good Anger 

The first point we must discuss is the categorization of anger. The scripture reading deals heavily with the positive and negative influence and uses of anger. Many in our culture view all external anger as an offense or sin to be avoided. In scripture in Ephesians 4:26 Paul tells his audience that we should be angry if necessary but to “sin not.” The connotation we take away is that there is a form of anger that is sinful and one that is not. Our further reading will give us an understanding.

Psalm 30:5 tells us of God’s anger toward a wayward saint. We call this righteous anger because it s sole motivation is the correction and growth of one who is beginning or is currently straying from the Lord. We can compare this to a parental relationship or a supervisors relationship to his or her subordinates. In both cases the party with authority over the other is imposing a set of rules and then reinforcing them with consequences.

Our personal motives are the main way we struggle in emulating Christ in our roles of authority. As humans, frustrations and anger about the mistakes of subordinates, our personal missteps, wrongs we suffer, or perceive ourselves to have suffered, can be easily misdirected. As an example, God’s anger in Psalm 30:5 was directed toward the sinful actions but the consequences were imposed on the person or people making the mistake. These consequences were imposed in spite of the fact that God loves His people. This is in stark contrast to our human tendency toward venting our anger on the person making the mistake instead of expressing it in relation to the damage the mistake causes. At times we even go so far as to hold back the consequences because imposing them makes us feel bad for whatever reason.

In our capacity of authority we must make conscious efforts to strengthen our interpersonal relationships with mutual respect even as we reinforce rules and policy. One of the ways we can do this is by sandwiching reprimand with encouragement. It is my opinion that while we communicate clearly the reason for the consequences to a person we should bring positives into the beginning and the end of tough conversations. In this way we can clearly encode the value we feel the person or child has while also encoding a clear desire that the same action or circumstance not be repeated. I feel that this is one way to put the concepts we can learn from Bible reading into practice in our interpersonal relationships.

Bad Anger

Examples of anger that is NOT righteous are illustrated in Proverbs 15:1 and 22:24+25. In addition these verses provide some great suggestions on how to react to another persons anger and a warning that should spur us to prevent our joining the ranks of those that are enslaved to anger. One of the ways to diffuse an angry individual is to provide a soft and calm but firm answer. Many times anger loses steam when it doesn’t cause a reaction. Reacting is a knee jerk response to anger, responding is a thought out answer in the face of opposition. If we react as oppose to respond, according to Proverbs 15:1, we only provoke a prolonged and spreading anger in our interpersonal relationships. By contrast Proverbs 22:24+25 warns us of the contagious nature of one who makes anger a lifestyle. It brings back to my memory the words of my grandfather, “You become like who you hang around.”

Matthew 18:15-20 gives us our guidelines for how to react when we are wronged or feel an individual wrongs us. I take this to mean that this is a literal way in which to reconcile a relationship and to respond on an interpersonal level. We also have here a mandate for prayer in cases where a conflict is resolved without reconciliation. Verses 21-35 of the same chapter give us both a promise and a warning to us of how God will respond if we respond to others as He responded to us or if we choose to be unforgiving aggressors, like that angry man from Proverbs, in our interactions with others. To us Matthew 18:15-35 should be a direct example of how a Christian should or should not act in our interpersonal relationships.

The connection of James 1:19 rounds out our proper structure in our interpersonal relationships by reminding us to observe all the facts before responding to any given situation. In short we were created with two ears, two eyes, and only one mouth. We should therefore listen and observe twice as much as we talk.